|所有来源 > The Manitou Messenger (DA-MM) > The Manitou Messenger (1916-2014) > 1969 > No. 20, Vol. 82|
Ontological speculation to terminate with Mess mystery safecracking
Author: Dave Berg
The legend on its massive door reads HALL'S SAFE AND LOCK CO. — Cincinnati & Minneapolis. A tranquil pastoral scene above the lettering is now cracked and faded. The combination knob is smashed and battered — the result of some determined effort of the past to bring its contents to light.
It has resided in the basement of Steensland Hall for as long as anyone can remember. Sitting as it has directly outside the door to the Messenger office, through the years it has become known as the "Messenger safe."
Undoubtedly the safe has an origin of sorts, but whate're it is be unknown to all concerned (the Mess staff). Its contents are open to speculation — could it contain early school documents? Student body records? Student bodies? The shaving kit of a founding father? The liberal spirit of St. Olaf College?
At last the truth will be known. In observation of the signing of the Hay-Pauncefote Treaty with Great Britain on this date in 1901 a "grand opening" has been planned.
The deed will be performed by Jon Nordby with an assist from an acetylene torch borrowed from the art department for this purpose. The opening is tentatively scheduled for tomorrow night, November 18, at 7:00 p.m. in the Steensland Hall basement. The public is urged to attend.
Of course, there is always the possibility that someone in authority will decide that the safe is a valuable antique (which is rather unlikely) or that it is an indispensable bit of early Olafian memorabilia (which is highly unlikely). Should this come to pass, the torch will be used to open up the Manitou Messenger coffee pot — currently an ash tray — and all those in attendance will be invited to join in choruses of "Fram Fram" and "Revolution No. 9" backwards.